Boss Mom

Yes, that’s me. I am both; a boss of a multimillion dollar practice, and a mom of two beautiful girls. If you had asked me in college if this would be my goal in life, to be a boss, the answer would be no. To be a mom? Yes, just not in this way.

Being both a boss and a mom, you have to know how to turn it off and on.

You can’t treat your co-workers like a mom, and you can’t treat your family like a boss.

Sometimes, the two tend to cross over. It is hard being both, but I am learning. I was a boss before I became a mom. And when I became a mom, it was like instant gratification. I didn’t have the 9 month waiting period, or nesting period. I literally got the girls over night. Now I have to schedule time off around field trips, sick days (for my kids, mom’s don’t do sick days), and random school holidays. But, if not for my wonderful bosses I have, it would not be possible.

In the work place, think of others.

How many moms are in your work place. How many have to work long hours, or pick up/drop off kids to school? As a mom and boss, I understand. I know it is hard. I know that society expects so much of us! Its not fair, but frankly, we did ask for it.

As a working mom, we want to work and be successful. Why is that frowned upon? And why do working mom’s not have the same support, respect and dignity as one of the opposite sex? I don’t mean to be political or feminize anything. That is not at all what my post are meant to be about. But, why can a man go out on the golf course and strike up a deal, and it be a “work day”? But yet if a mom asks to take time to spend with her child, the business society frowns upon it.

It’s like taking care of a child is not as important as striking a deal or winning a big case. Yes, those are important, but is growing a child and molding them in today’s society not a trump for all? I mean, these are the spokes men and women of our future. Careful, they maybe the ones changing your bed pans later on Mr. business boss man.

It’s hard to “have it all” but it is possible.

You have to learn to give and take, balance, and realize, its not always going to be perfect. But it’s going to be ok. And its ok not to be perfect. There are nights I do have to work late. I have a long commute from work to home. Those nights I have a great husband who is my rib. My support, my rock, and my love. He can order a mean pizza, or heat up some awesome spaghetti’os. My husband is a great man. He’s a hard worker, and often times he kids around about being a “stay at home dad.” Then I have to remind him that he would have to do other things besides stay out in his garage all the time working on cars.

To have it all, you have to have a great support group.

I have my husband, but also my parents and friends. My parents allow my husband and I to have a “Date weekend.” We also live quite a ways from them, so when we do get our “weekend” we are very blessed. Often times it is a “staycation” but hey, sometimes those are needed too. Thoughts of life back in our small apartment before kids, crazy stressful jobs, bills, and just living on love.

My friends are great. I actually have very few close ones anymore (again that whole commute thing). With the way I am writing tonight, you would think we live in the boonies. On the contrary, we live close to the city, just everyone else lives in “far far away.” But the few friends I still keep in touch with, or yet, the ones who still want to keep in touch with me, are pretty cool. Not many of them have kids. Actually, out of the friends on my side, only one couple has a child, the others live through us. My husbands friends on the other hand, they all have kids.

Its great though, because with friends and neighbors, there is so much to be thankful for. Our friends are blessings. I wish there was a way to have more time with everyone, but life happens. Kids get sick, sitters fall through, we get busy with work. But, how you know you still have those great friends. They are there for you. Through death, through celebration, through births and adoptions. They do not judge, they do not dismay. They listen and again, they support.

To have it all, support is number one! If you don’t have support from your spouse, family, or friends, what do you have?

But with your support, you also have to find self worth.

Now, this part, this for me is the hard part. I have had to learn that I am not perfect. I have had to learn to be ok with that. Some things will slip. Sometimes you have to miss a work trip, or put someone else on the project who has more time. There are also times that the dishes will be dirty in the sink from two nights before. It happens. But, this doesn’t mean you are a bad mom, or you don’t take your job as a boss seriously. You have to balance. Its a battle of give and take. Something I have had to learn. I am not perfect and its ok.

With finding self worth, you also have to take care of you! You say yes at work, you say yes with your kids, now its time to say yes to you. Take time to unwind. What is your “go to” that allows you to be you? How to you take care of yourself? What do you take pride in? If you don’t know, you need to do some self-awareness and find your joy.

Find your Joy

My joy, is at the end of the day after I put my kids to bed, I start my nightly routine. I light my bathroom candle, draw a nice warm bath, and go old school in jotting down my thoughts in my journal. This helps get things off my mind, make any type of to do list, and reflect the day. I take time to talk to God and talk to him about my day or any concerns that might have happened. Depending on my time, I also try to get some light reading in. But lately, with all the hustle and bustle from the holidays, time has been lacking lately.

Get your sleep

The other things that is crucial (I am learning this quickly as a parent) is getting sleep! Your kids (well my kids) will wake up when the sun comes up if not before, so I suggest you get to be at a reasonable time if you want to be rested and ready for this to happen. Even on the weekends. Those times that I do have a “staycation” weekend, I sleep! I’ve never loved sleep more in my life than I do now! How I wish we had nap time as adults.

Be Active

Ok so I’m not going to lie. I hate the word workout, or exercise. So I like to put a positive spin on it and say be active. I don’t care if its with your dog, your kids, a walk outside at the park or at the shopping mall. Be active! So many times as women (ok mainly with me) I tend to give into the fads. Workout classes, gyms, you name it, I’ve probably done it. I do good for a while, but then something happens. Life happens. I get burnt out, it gets too expensive, I get sick, I get bored, I don’t see results, (blah, blah, blah.) Same excuse, different story. So I now say, be active. Find what you like and do it.

It’s hard. I know. We find every excuse NOT to do what we NEED to do. If I work out after work, who’s going to cook dinner? I can’t wake up early because I’m too tired/I need my sleep. I’m not a morning person. The gyms too expensive. When I get to the gym, I don’t know what to do. I need a partner to go with me or so and so can’t go so I’m not going. Yes, we’ve heard it all, said it all! So just get up and Be Active!

Where’s God?

Most important. I tend to forget this sometime with all the business that comes from work, kids, husband, family, friends, facebook, instagram, twitter, blogging, etc. Where is God? Where is your time with him and do you still rely on him? During the holidays (Christmas during Christmas) we learn about the birth of Christ Jesus. How cool would it have been to see God, in flesh, right in front of you! Would you believe it?! Well, as a Christian, we have God ALL THE TIME! *mic drop (mouth drop). Shocking I KNOW!

He’s our Holy Spirit. The reason God had Christ Jesus come down to earth. So we can spend eternity with him in Heaven. So we can walk with him daily. So we can talk with him daily. For as long as I have been a Christian, it honestly didn’t dawn on me, this small little detail, that is such a BIG THING, until I did advent with my youngest this year.

Immanuel, which is translated to, “Got with us.” God is with us, he is ALWAYS with us!

“Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel.” Isaiah 7:14