Telling the Girls
Adoption is Hard!
It’s hard to make adoption into a celebration. Especially if you are in any type of situation we were in.
If you would have asked us three years ago if we were going to adopt the girls, our answer would have been absolutely not. It’s funny how God changes our thoughts and situations.
We thought going into this we would have the girls a few weeks maybe a month, not forever.
How do you know what to say?
Foster and adoption moms out there as well as step parents, how did you go about telling your child? And how did you go about telling them their last name would change. I definitely believe the younger they are, the easier it is, that’s for sure. Most of the time they don’t remember their earlier childhood years. There are bits and pieces our oldest remembers. She doesn’t remember when she first came to stay with us. She was the age of our youngest now.
The Freakout…
When I told our oldest that her last name changed, she said “What?! It’ll sound weird. And it’s weird that you are my aunt and uncle and now my mom and dad.” She doesn’t understand. She doesn’t understand why her mom gave her two middle names. She doesn’t understand why her mom can’t take care of her and live with her. Our oldest has so many questions that I cannot answer. Why? Because I’m not her biological mom.
I Need Answers!
I wish I knew all these answers. If their parents weren’t selfish and would take care of their kids. I remember so many times when the girl’s parents “couldn’t handle it,” they would allow me to watch them while they went who knows where. How can you leave your child and “not handle it.” They are your children who love you. At the age of new born and three, all they know is Love.
I wish my girls dad had married their mom, kept a job, a house over their head, and the electricity on. Instead he did not believe in marriage. He could not afford to keep the lights turned on or pay the rent. He could not drive himself to work. There were so many things he could not do, but he always found a way to get high. Addiction Is so dangerous especially at the stake of a child’s life.
I wish God would have kept their family together. But this was NOT God’s will. We do not know why bad things happen to good people. How is it fair that a crack head can have a child, but someone who has never touch a drug in their life face infertility. It’s not fair. But this world is not our own. We have to remember that God is in control, and he’s got this! It may not be our way, our timing, or our plan. But it’s not about us. It’s about God. In this case, God wants to protect these children, and allow them to grow up in a stable environment where they do not have to worry about abandonment or neglect.
The Family Killer…
Drugs are a terrible thing. They can do good when used properly, but when used out of context, misused, and abused, they not only tear apart the person addicted to them, they tear apart families. With the opioid crisis at a record high, the government has had to step in to monitor. Why is this? Is it the physicians fault for prescribing it? Is it the pharmacy’s fault for filling it?
We may not know the answers. This world is not our true home in the end. But this world is full of people who are power driven, money hungry, and always wanting to see what their next high will be. And not necessarily a high from drugs. Deep down we all have addictions because we are all sinners and fall short to the glory of God.
